Sunday, March 23, 2025

finding a deep, pure and gentle sympathy with others

 






The function of diversion is simply to 
anesthetize the individual as individual,
 and to plunge him in the warm, apathetic stupor 
of a collectivity which, like himself, 
wishes to remain amused.
.
The break with the big group is compensated
 by enrollment in the little group. 
It is a flight not into solitude but into a protesting minority.

 Such a flight may be more or less honest, 
more or less honorable. 
Certainly it inspires the anger of those who believe 
themselves to be the “right thinking majority” 
and it necessarily comes in for its fair share
 of mockery on that account…
 
They abandon one illusion which is forced on everyone
 and substitute for it another, more esoteric illusion, 
of their own making. They have the satisfaction
 of making a choice, but not the fulfilment 
of having chosen reality.

The true solitary is not called to an illusion,
 to the contemplation of himself as solitary. 
He is called to the nakedness and hunger
 of a more primitive and honest condition.

The disconcerting task of facing and accepting one’s own absurdity. 
The anguish of realizing that underneath the apparently logical pattern
 of a more or less “well organized” and rational life,
 there lies an abyss of irrationality, confusion, pointlessness, 
and indeed of apparent chaos… 

Interior solitude…
 is the actualization of a faith
 in which a man takes responsibility
 for his own inner life.

If every society were ideal, then every society would help its members 
only to a fruitful and productive self-transcendence. But in fact 
societies tend to lift a man above himself only far enough 
to make him a useful and submissive instrument
 in whom the aspirations, lusts and needs of the group 
can function unhindered by too delicate a personal conscience. 
Social life tends to form and educate a man,
 but generally at the price of a simultaneous
 deformation and perversion.
 This is because civil society is never ideal,
 always a mixture of good and evil, 
and always tending to present the evil
 in itself as a form of good.

Often the lonely and the empty have found their way into this pure silence 
only after many false starts. They have taken many wrong roads, 
even roads that were totally alien to their character and vocation. 
They have repeatedly contradicted themselves and their own inmost truth.
.
One has to be born into solitude carefully,
 patiently and after long delay, out of the womb of society.

The price of fidelity in such a task is a completely dedicated humility —
 an emptiness of heart in which self-assertion has no place.

 For if he is not empty
 and undivided in his own inmost soul, the solitary will be nothing more than
 an individualist. And in that case, his non-conformity is nothing but an act
 of rebellion: the substitution of idols and illusions of his own choosing
 for those chosen by society. 
And this, of course, is the greatest of dangers… 

 one who has been found by solitude,
 and invited to enter it, and has entered freely, falls into the desert
 the way a ripe fruit falls out of a tree. It does not matter what kind
 of a desert it may be: in the midst of men or far from them. 
It is the one vast desert of emptiness 
which belongs to no one and to everyone.

True solitude is not mere separateness.

 It tends only to unity.
 The true solitary does not renounce anything
 that is basic and human about his relationship to other men.

 He is deeply united to them —
 all the more deeply because
 he is no longer entranced by marginal concerns. 
What he renounces is the superficial imagery and the trite symbolism
 that pretend to make the relationship more genuine and more fruitful.
.
One who is called to solitude
 is called to emptiness. 

And in this emptiness he does not find points upon which to base 
a contrast between himself and others. On the contrary, he realizes, 
though perhaps confusedly, that he has entered into a solitude
 that is really shared by everyone. 

It is not that he is solitary while everybody else is social:
 but that everyone is solitary, in a solitude masked by that symbolism
 which they use to cheat and counteract their solitariness.

The solitary is one who is aware of solitude in himself 
as a basic and inevitable human reality, not just as something
 which affects him as an isolated individual. 

Hence his solitude is the foundation of a deep, 
pure and gentle sympathy with all other men.




~ Thomas Merton
from Notes for a Philosophy of a Solitude
found in the collection Disputed Questions
with thanks to 
The Marginalian by Maria Popova



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