Sometimes the quiet of Hakujuan, which was one of its only virtues,
was broken by the noise of guests, often they were give to complaint -
whining about conditions, gossiping about the temples and their struggles,
being angry in a world designed to cure anger.
She would listen, but as the years passed she found herself
strangely dreaming sometimes.
The waves of feeling would roll past, and she could feel
life rising and falling like the deck of a ship - as though
her own body were rolling through the waves of time.
Arising, abiding, and falling away -
this is all the Blessed One taught.
This is all it is, she thought, this is it.
All things arise, abide, and fall away, and we suffer only because we
hold on to what we are bound to lose, Pain is a given, but suffering -
that we make.
This is all he taught, she reminded herself,
walking through the rooms of the nunnery as though
rowing a raft through the tide -
up, down, up again.
...
And then she saw that arising arose, abided, and fell away -
and that abiding arose, abided, and fell away -
and that falling away arose, abided, and fell away.
She saw that knowing this arose, abided, and fell away.
Then she knew there was nothing more than this,
no ground, nothing to lean on stronger than the cane she held,
nothing to lean upon at all, and no one leaning,
and she opened the clenched fist in her mind and let go
and fell into the midst of everything.
~ Teijitsu
from the lonely one, found in
Women of the Way by Sallie Tisdale
