compassion - radical kinship

 

 

 

 
"It is not enough to believe that compassion is important and to think about how nice it is!"

Self-centeredness inhibits our love for others,

 and we are all afflicted by it to one degree or another.

 

 For true happiness to come about, we need a calm mind,

 and such peace of mind is brought about only by a compassionate attitude. 

How can we develop this attitude? 

 

 We need to make a concerted effort to develop it; 

we must use all the events of our daily life to transform our thoughts and behavior.

Many forms of compassionate feeling are mixed with desire and attachment.

 For instance, the love parents feel for their child is often strongly associated 

with their own emotional needs, so it is not fully compassionate. 

 

Usually when we are concerned about a close friend, we call this compassion, 

but it too is usually attachment. Even in marriage, the love between husband and wife—

particularly at the beginning, when each partner still may not know the other’s 

deeper character very well—depends more on attachment than genuine love.

 

 Marriages that last only a short time do so because they lack compassion; 

they are produced by emotional attachment based on projection and expectation,

 and as soon as the projections change, the attachment disappears. 

 

Our desire can be so strong that the person to whom we are attached appears flawless,

 when in fact he or she has many faults. In addition, attachment makes us exaggerate

 small, positive qualities. When this happens, it indicates that our love is motivated

 more by personal need than by genuine care for another.

Compassion without attachment is possible. 

Therefore, we need to clarify the distinctions between compassion and attachment. 

 

True compassion is not just an emotional response but a firm commitment founded on reason.

 Because of this firm foundation, a truly compassionate attitude toward others

 does not change even if they behave negatively.

 

 Genuine compassion is based not on our own projections and expectations, 

but rather on the needs of the other: irrespective of whether another person 

is a close friend or an enemy.

 

 This is genuine compassion. 

For a practitioner, the goal is to develop this genuine compassion, 

this genuine wish for the well-being of another, 

in fact for every living being throughout the universe. 

 

 

~ Dalai Lama

adapted from The Compassionate Life

 art of Father Gregory Boyle from

Saint Ignatius College Prep Library

 

 

 

ventilating the world with tenderness

~ Greg Boyle

kinship

~ Homeboy Industries

compassion and kinship

Fr. Gregory Boyle

Father Gregory Boyle, founder and executive director of Homeboy Industries, is an acknowledged expert on gangs, intervention and re-entry and today serves on the U.S. Attorney General's Defending Childhood Task Force. 
 

Born in Los Angeles, one of eight children, Fr. Greg worked in the family-owned dairy, loading milk trucks to earn his high school tuition. An enduring memory of that youthful time is when "...these weathered old truckers would come up to me, put their arms around me and point at my father in the distance, on the loading dock, and say, 'Your dad is a great man.'" Lessons from that first job apply at Homeboy Industries today where employees come to change for themselves and their children. Homeboy Industries traces its roots to "Jobs For A Future" (JFF), created in 1988 by Boyle at Dolores Mission. To address the escalating problems of gang-involved youth, he and the community developed an elementary school, day care program and sought legitimate employment for young people. Boyle serves on the National Gang Center Advisory Board (Bureau of Justice Assistance and the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention). He is also a member of the Advisory Board for the Loyola Law School Center for Juvenile Law and Policy and previously served on the California Commission on Juvenile Justice, Crime and Delinquency Prevention. The National Child Labor Committee recognized Fr. Greg with the first Nancy M. Daly Advocacy Award for Service to Children and Youth on January 30, 2012. Homeboy Industries, now located in the heart of downtown Los Angeles, is recognized as a national and international model for youth seeking to move beyond gangs and achieve a life of hope. 

homeboy-industries.org

compassion and kinship

~ Fr. Gregory Boyle

recommended

A refreshing vision our intimate connection with each other

and life itself.

~  by Gregory Boyle