One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.
The later procedure, however,
is disagreeable and therefore not popular.
~ Carl Jung
from The Philosophical Tree
When we turn toward our pain instead of away from it,
self-mercy enters those parts of ourselves we had closed off, withdrawn from,
or abandoned to feelings of impotence. When it seems there is nowhere
else to turn, when all our prayers and strategies seem to be of little avail,
something deeper arises: a mercy that leads toward the heart.
Without mercy (a quality of loving kindness that is the tender
acceptance of even that which might be otherwise unacceptable) as
an alternative to holding to our pain, we abandon those most painful
memories within us to harsh judgment and merciless reflection.
The appearance of mercy, ...compassion... is absolutely unmistakable
as we learn to open into that which once closed us off.
Memories may always be bittersweet, but we may also find peace
flickering, at the edges of what once caused us agitation.
Healing, then, becomes not the absence of pain but the
increased ability to meet it with mercy instead of loathing.
No one can wholly remove our pain. All we can do is
increase the spaciousness of mind and heart in which it
is allowed to decompress.
We meet ourselves with simple kindness that confounds
our addiction to critical self-judgement. We find ourselves
more likely to meet others' confusion and helplessness
open-heartedly. We find less need for others or ourselves
to be different in order to be loved.
We find ourselves.
~ Stephen Levine
from Unattended Sorrow