reply to a letter

In the bottom drawer I find a letter which arrived for the first time twenty- six years ago. A letter written in panic, which continues to breathe when it arrives for the second time.

A house has five windows; through four of them daylight shines clear and still. The fifth window faces a dark sky, thunder and storm. I stand by the fifth window. The letter.

Sometimes a wide abyss separates Tuesday from Wednesday, but twenty-six years may pass in a moment. Time is no straight line. but rather a labyrinth. and if you press yourself against the wall, at the right spot, you can hear the hurrying steps and the voices, you can hear yourself walking past on the other side.

Was that letter ever answered? l don't remember, it was a long time ago. The innumerable thresholds of the sea continued to wander. The heart continued to leap from second to second, like the toad in the wet grass of a night in August.

The unanswered letters gather up above, like cirrostratus clouds foreboding a storm. They dim the rays of the sun. One day l shall reply. One day when I am dead and at last free to collect my thoughts. Or at least so far away from here that l can rediscover myself. When recently arrived I walk in the great city. On 25th Street, on the windy streets of dancing garbage. I who love to stroll and merge with the crowd, a capital letter T in the infinite body of text.

~ Tomas Tranströmer

translated by Göran Malmqvist

from The Blue House
art by emile claus

tribute

~ Jane Goodall

the blue house

It is night with glaring sunshine. I stand in the woods and look towards my house with its misty blue walls. As though I were recently dead and saw the house from a new angle.

It has stood for more than eighty summers. Its timber has been impregnated, four times with joy and three times with sorrow. When someone who has lived in the house dies it is repainted. The dead person paints it himself, without a brush, from the inside.

On the other side is open terrain. Formerly a garden, now wilderness. A still surf of weed, pagodas of weed, an unfurling body of text, Upanishads of weed, a Viking fleet of weed, dragon heads, lances, an empire of weed.

Above the overgrown garden flutters the shadow of a boomerang, thrown again and again. It is related to someone who lived in the house long before my time. Almost a child. An impulse issues from him, a thought, a thought of will: “create. . .draw. ..” In order to escape his destiny in time.

The house resembles a child’s drawing. A deputizing childishness which grew forth because someone prematurely renounced the charge of being a child. Open the doors, enter! Inside unrest dwells in the ceiling and peace in the walls. Above the bed there hangs an amateur painting representing a ship with seventeen sails, rough sea and a wind which the gilded frame cannot subdue.

It is always so early in here, it is before the crossroads, before the irrevocable choices. I am grateful for this life! And yet I miss the alternatives. All sketches wish to be real.

A motor far out on the water extends the horizon of the summer night. Both joy and sorrow swell in the magnifying glass of the dew. We do not actually know it, but we sense it: our life has a sister vessel which plies an entirely different route. While the sun burns behind the islands.

~ Tomas Tranströmer

translated by Göran Malmqvist

a blaze of light

There's a blaze of light

In every word

It doesn't matter which you heard

The holy or the broken Hallelujah


~ Leonard Cohen

My eyes so fix

upon your image

that whatever I gaze at

I imagine you.

~ Fakhruddin Iraqi

from Divine Flashes

after work

I stop the car along the pasture edge,

gather up bags of corncobs from the back,

and get out.

Two whistles, one for each,

and familiar sounds draw close in darkness—

cadence of hoof on hardened bottomland,

twinned blowing of air through nostrils curious, flared.

They come deepened and muscular movements

conjured out of sleep: each small noise and scent

heavy with earth, simple beyond communion,

beyond the stretched-out hand from which they calmly

take corncobs, pulling away as I hold

until the mid-points snap.

They are careful of my fingers,

offering that animal-knowledge,

the respect which is due to strangers;

and in the night, their mares' eyes shine, reflecting stars,

the entire, outer light of the world here.

~ Jane Hirshfield 

from Of Gravity and Angels

reflected

Reflected

in the dragonfly's eye -

mountains.

Kobayashi Issa

(1763-1828)

from Zen Poetry: Let the Spring Breeze Enter

translated by Lucien Stryk and Takashi Ikemoto

sea foam

Moment by moment you await understanding, 
spiritual perception, peace and good to arrive from nonexistence. 
Nonexistence, then, is God's factory from which He continually produces goods.

He has caused what is nonexistent to appear magnificently existent,
 while the truly existent He has caused to appear as nonexistent.

He has hidden the Sea, yet made the foam visible;

He has concealed the Wind, but displayed the dust.

The dust whirls in the air higher than a minaret: does it rise by itself? 
You see the dust borne high, but the Wind you don't see, although you can surmise it.

You see the white-capped waves tumbling in every direction, 
but without the Sea the foam has no way to move.

You see the foam by sense perception and the Sea by induction:

just as speech is manifest and thought is hidden.

~ Rumi
art by O'Keeffe

the "I" creature and the moon

There’s a moon in my body, but I can't see it!

A moon and a sun.

A drum never touched by hands, beating, and I can’t hear it! 

As long as a human being worries about when he will die,

and what he has that is his, all of his works are zero.

When affection for the I-creature and what it owns is dead,

then the work of the Teacher is over.

The purpose of labor is to learn;

when you know it, the labor is over.

The apple blossom exists to create fruit; when that

comes, the petal falls.

The musk is inside the deer, but the deer does not

look for it: it wanders around looking for grass.

~ Kabir

no problem

The problem is there is no problem and

the problem solvers have nothing to do

so they start creating problems out

of thin air, out of nothing. Then the problem

is not to see that there are big problems

everywhere and it is woe unto

him or her who cannot see or who will

not acknowledge the problems—they become

part of the problem, a big part of it,

their apathy or obstinacy holding

progress back until they are educated

to the fact that, one, there are big problems,

and, two, if you are not part of solving

them then you represent the problem

the problem solvers have been talking about

all along. So you see now how it is:

there is no problem worse than no problem.

~ Kevin McCaffrey

 from Laughing Cult

selective blindness

~ Margaret Heffernan

when I heard

When I heard the learn'd astronomer,

When the proofs, the figures, were ranged in columns before

me,

When I was shown the charts and diagrams, to add, divide

and measure them, 

When I sitting heard the astronomer where he lectured with

much applause in the lecture-room,

How soon unaccountable I became tired and sick,

Till rising and gliding out I wander' d off by myself,

In the mystical moist night-air, and from time to time,

Look'd up in perfect silence at the stars.

~  Walt Whitman

annunciation

It is not always joy

that is announced to you

in the mundane light.

Not always a wing

or a flood of new knowledge

delivering its atoms of change

to your body.

Sometimes it is

a wound delivered,

just as plainly as in those

paintings, her head tilted

up or down, in some angle

of understood responsibility.

No fanfare in the room

other than some structure inside

made flat

by what you have received,

the heart a putty-colored

folding chair knocked

to the ground.

And the room itself emptied,

this is part of the recognition.

The room a wound,

the light a wing on the floor,

the atoms of dust

in the shaft. And the quiet,

that is grief’s appetite.

~ Rick Barot

with thanks to Cerise Press

art by van gogh

without willing

Learn who it is within you who makes everything his own 

and says, “My God, my mind, my thought, my soul, my body.” 

Learn the sources of sorrow, joy, love, hate. 

Learn how it happens that one watches without willing, 

rests without willing, becomes angry without willing, 

loves without willing.

~ Hippolytus of Rome

to give myself utterly

I want to give myself

utterly

as this maple

that burned and burned

for three days without stinting

and then in two more

dropped off every leaf;

as this lake that,

no matter what comes

to its green-blue depths,

both takes and returns it.

In the still heart that refuses nothing,

the world is twice-born—

two earths wheeling,

two heavens,

two egrets reaching

down into subtraction;

even the fish

for an instant doubled,

before it is gone.

I want the fish.

I want the losing it all

when it rains and I want

the returning transparence.

I want the place

by the edge-flowers where

the shallow sand is deceptive,

where whatever

steps in must plunge,

and I want that plunging.

I want the ones

who come in secret to drink

only in early darkness,

and I want the ones

who are swallowed.

I want the way

the water sees without eyes,

hears without ears,

shivers without will or fear

at the gentlest touch.

I want the way it

accepts the cold moonlight

and lets it pass,

the way it lets

all of it pass

without judgment or comment.

There is a lake,

Lalla Ded sang, no larger

than one seed of mustard,

that all things return to.

O heart, if you

will not, cannot, give me the lake,

then give me the song.

~ Jane Hirshfield

art by Georgia O'Keeffe

wisdom of a storyteller

~ Elif Shafak