trying to reconcile

On the one hand I felt the call of God; on the other, I continued to follow the world. 

All the things of God gave me great pleasure, but I was held captive by those of the world. 

I might have been said to be trying to reconcile these two extremes, 

to bring contraries together: the spiritual life on the one hand and worldly satisfactions, 

pleasures, and pastimes on the other. 

~ Saint Teresa of Avila