Thursday, May 26, 2011

painful is the burden of self

Cease not to desire the loss of that pitiful knowledge 
and corrupted awareness of your blind being.  
Forget and disregard your self ruthlessly...  
you must desire to lose the knowledge and experience of self.  

This is essential if you are to experience God's love as fully as possible in this life.  
You must realize and experience for yourself that 
unless you lose self you will never reach your goal.  

For wherever you are, 
in whatever you do, 
or howsoever you try, 
that elemental sense of your own blind being will remain between you and your God.  

It is then that you will realize how heavy and painful is the burden of self.

All the misery in the world taken together will seem as nothing beside this, 
because then you will be a cross to yourself.  
Yet this is the way to our Lord and the real meaning of his words: 
"Let a man first take up his cross" 
(the painful cross of self)... this grace touches and calls you,
 may you see and appreciate more and more the surpassing worth of the contemplative work.

~ The Book of Privy Counseling